A Sunday Chat with Myself (How Big is God?)

Don’t tell God that you have a big problem. Tell your problem that you have a big God!

The question of how big is God, is still a growing one with me, where I learn something new on the topic almost daily.  When I was a child and went to Sunday School, I imagined (was taught?) God to be a man, not much taller than my grandpa, who had a long white beard and walked around on clouds all day dressed in a long white robe, muttering and grumbling about this thing not being right, or that thing not acting like it should. To me, in my childhood, God was an angry god who constantly threatened that if we didn’t attend church regularly and give Him a lot of money, then when I died, He’d throw me into hell where I’d burn forever. At the time, that was more than enough for me to mind my parents—well, most of the time—and never, ever miss Sunday School. I knew that getting burnt by fire was a really painful experience—and to burn forever in a lake of brimstone and fire?I was really scared of God!

However, as I grew older and began to learn more about what constituted life, creation in general, and the cosmos as something larger than the clouds above me where God dwelt, my views of God started to change. I still saw God as a grouchy old man with a short fuse, but now He had elevated himself. He lived somewhere in the heavens a little higher up than the clouds, and He was a bit larger and more powerful than my grandpa.

“Lo, these are parts of his ways: but how little a portion is heard of him? but the thunder of his power who can understand?” — Job 26:14

My evolutionary understanding of what God is, has come a lo-o-o-ng  way that changed direction several times from childhood to my present. There was even a time when, as I saw the universe as an infinite, expanding place, I could not fit a physical God into it, for where would He reside in this universe? Where could his home be? I became a devout atheist! I rationalized that it was physically impossible for a god to rule infinity—and, from where would He rule, to begin with? Also, as a near infinite tiny speck in this creation, how could any god even know that I existed? Relative in size to the universe, how could God even see me, let alone hear any of my prayers?

“What is man, that thou art mindful of him?” — Psalm 8:4

My vision of what I thought God is, really fast tracked for me when, fairly recently, I was introduced to Zecharia Sitchin’s books, in particular, “The 12th planet,” and “There were giants upon the earth.” Suddenly, I saw humanity’s—including my own—version of (now Gods) suddenly  becoming plural: see Genesis 3:22) as giant extraterrestrials who had genetically modified us, first, as servants to the Anunnaki, then, thanks to Enki (now called Jesus, the Christ), we were engineered to “fall,” and become self-conscious, thinking beings: the Adapa (Adam) species were created on earth! This even explained why anthropology never had an answer as to where we came (evolved) from. They couldn’t find that missing link, and, that is most likely because we didn’t evolve from lower species, like anthropology claimed, but were created—not in a Biblical version by a grumpy old man, but by giant extraterrestrials who did, in all reality, come to earth “from the heavens,” and had their home “in the heavens.”

But, all this raised another. If the giants—the Anunnaki—created us—and out of their own gene pool—where is the god of my childhood?

Gregg Braden, in his “Missing Links” series on Gaia TV, claims that we could well be living in a giant, holographic universe, and stated: “our act, the act of us looking with the expectation that we will see something, is an act of creation within our simulated universe.” In other words, what we are looking for, and think we’ve found, we create it!

It seems like, in my quest to find and understand God, my search first went out to explore the clouds above me, then the infinite universe. Then, like a well balanced boomerang, my crusade came right back to me and showed me: I am my own God! I am the conscious creator of my world. Collectively, consciousness created the universe and its infinite possibilities. And I am part of that collective, conscious creation!

How cool is that, eh?

 

I want my reward now!

One often hears the expression “Heaven will reward you for this kind act”. That denotes a future event–the reward. But, I want my blessings NOW, not in the future! This is much like a grade one student told to study hard and you’ll receive your rewards when you graduate. The grade one student has no concept of future rewards. He wants them NOW, but in reality, rewards–or any reaction to an action, usually does  come in the future.

What is it about creation that, for so many events in our lives, we have to wait for our reward?

Ayahuasca

I just finished watching a video on Gaia TV titled “Ayahuasca: Vine of the Soul.” Ayahuasca is a South American vine whose Shaman use the bark and stems to brew a potent psychedelic brew. It has also become popular way of entertainment in many North American  social groups whose participants use it to get a feel-good high. But that’s not the goal of the Shaman. To them, the drinking of the brew of the Ayahuasca plant is a sacred–indeed, even a religious rite, that allows the participant to learn the wonderment of his own creation.

I must admit that I found the video appealing and sort of, secretly, wished that I could join the Shaman’s group as they sipped the nectar, chanted, and whispered to each other of  sacred experiences they were having somewhere deep within the noisy, chattering South American jungle … but something made me hesitate. It wasn’t fear, nor lack of desire to know more about myself. I’ve always, as far back in my life as I can remember, been a student of spirituality and metaphysics. Not only did I want to know myself and everything around me, but, like Einstein, I even went boldly as far as to desire to know the mind of God! So why didn’t I hop aboard the plane to South America and join my friend–let’s call him Jake?

I believe the answer lies in the fact that there many roads that lead to life’s destination, and Jake decided to take the highway: the quick way to spiritual maturity, while I preferred the slower, grow-spiritually-as-you-experience road. To demonstrate what I mean, let’s throw Jake and me into an adventure!

“Jake,” I said. “If you take the highway, the fast route, you’ll be in the Jungle Camp months before I’ll be there.”

Jake shook his head. “M-mh! Remember what the Shaman said? Even if one of us arrives before the other, he will not give us our box–the key and instructions to our next goal–unless we are both together.”

 

Let’s Define Death

An acquaintance of mine and I–we live in the same cul-de-sac– both have cancer. Since cancer can so often be a terminal disease, the thought of death naturally  became a topic of our discussion. Sadly, my friend has since “graduated,” as he liked to put it, but the memory of our many discussions, especially about death, still lingers strong within my mind.

First, what is life? O.k., there are many philosophical opinions and definitions of what constitutes life, any of which can be correct wrong, or ill-defined and worthy of further discussion. But, one that had the most meaning to me was where I likened both life and death to an iPad, or Smart Phone. We all have one, so this makes an easy comparison.

The Smart Phone is a very powerful and useful tool in our lives that can perform some remarkable things like let one talk to your neighbor or a business acquaintance on the other side of the world, solve math problems or let you write letters, listen to music, and so on. But, what happens when you pull the energy source, the battery and memory card from your Smart Phone?

That’s death! Your Smart Phone has died! It still has the appearances of being whole, it still  looks like it did before: you give it a shake, “come on. Wake up!”–but something is missing: it’s missing its energy and its missing its memory. The thing is dead, completely lifeless! Without its battery (energy) and memory card (awareness), no matter how much you prod, shake or try to resuscitate it, your attempts are futile. It’s dead! You can throw it away–or bury it, like we humans like to do with our bodies.

And, in similitude, this is exactly what happens to a human when he dies: his energy, his battery–his soul–his Self– inseparable from his memory, has been ‘pulled’ from his body. An ‘Upper Room’ decision has been made to ‘upgrade’ the Self to a new realm, leaving a dead, lifeless body behind for the undertaker to dispose of.

The next question, of course, is, who, and what, exactly, is the Self? That part of us,  that decided to ‘pull’  itSelf–the energy and memory card from our ‘Smart Phone,’ that we were having so much fun with, and where does it go?

In humility, we must admit that we’re more like a computer, albeit a very sophisticated computer, than we sometimes care to admit.