We are our own competition

No doubt you are familiar with Pogo’s famous quote: “I have seen the enemy, and he is us!” The reason that quote has remained so endearingly popular with us is, unconsciously, we know it is true.

And note, I’ve emphasized the word, unconsciously. Because, on the other hand, consciously, we try to convince ourselves it’s not our fault that something didn’t happen the way it was supposed to happen: our excuses are, there’s too much competition; people are always undercut my prices; my employees don’t have to work more than eight hours a day, so why should I have to? The list of excuses goes on and on. I’ll give you a real-life example of what I mean by our own attitude and lack of thinking that causes us to fail so often.

I’m retired now, but I was in the sign painting and promotion business in my younger years. One day a fellow came and wanted me to make up some promotional flyers advertising his new start-up business: postal home delivery. Since we don’t have mail home delivery in our town: only post-office boxes, on the surface, this seemed like a good opportunity to fill a service need that was not available in our town before his arrival.

I asked him, since this was a new business venture in town, if he had done a survey to see if people wanted postal home delivery. He never did answer me directly, but assured me, that, being a retired postal worker himself, home delivery in a town that didn’t have home delivery, was a good idea.

Long story short, his business was a total disaster that never lasted out the year. In an angry huff, he and his wife packed up and left town. In a parting editorial letter to our local paper, he bitterly complained that the townspeople were too backwards to appreciate the service—home postal delivery—that he was willing to supply.

I can’t speak for other towns, but for us, we don’t need—nor want home delivery. For us, the post office acts as a community gathering place. It gives us a chance to briefly meet and chat with someone who lives on the other end of town and get up to date on what’s happened in his life since the last meeting.

In other words, our post office acts as a mini social gathering place: an excuse for going to the post office to pick up our mail that doubles as an opportunity to socialize. For that reason, most of us don’t want home delivery!

So, where to put the blame for his business failure: on the town for not wanting his ‘modernized opportunity services’, or should he blame himself for not doing proper research before investing his time and money in a no-win idea?

The same ‘blame-game’ idea can be applied to many of our social involvements. One of my present-day pet blame-game topics is our personal health and our present concern over the dangers of the COVID-19 virus. How many of you think the virus is to blame for a person getting sick from it, or even dying? Come on, now, don’t be shy. Raise your hands!

If the virus is to blame, why aren’t all of us sick? The fears also are that it is more dangerous to the elderly. If it is, then why aren’t all elderly sick or dying from the virus than there are at present? Could it be that the virus is more able to attack a person who has a low immune system, regardless if they are child, adult or senior? Therefore, the virus skips me, because I’m healthy, but ‘hits’ my neighbor who is careless in his health habits.

So, in reality, for the majority of us it’s our own lack of personal health care, not the virus that’s to blame for us getting sick.

A practical saying that I’ve always found helpful when I get into the ‘accusing syndrome’ game is: “For every finger that you point at someone else, remember, there are three fingers pointing back at you.”

We could save ourselves a lot of disappointment if we would search ourselves first before looking at our envireonment for failed solutions and/or causes.

The Power of One

I’ll pick on politics as a starter to my column to help me explain my point of argument, because politics is one of my favorite subjects to talk about—although the main message here, as you will see, can apply equally well to any situation.

As long as we continue to believe that we are only one in person and essence, and powerless in a world where money, armies and entrenched customs dominate, we can be assured of being ruled—not governed—ruled—by dictators, be they politicians or dominating company CEOs.

Can we ever free ourselves from this subjugated, submissiveness to an authority role we seem doomed to play a ll our life?

All holy scriptures, both ancient and present-day, proclaim that God made us in His image: gods, He made us—so, at the very least, we should consider ourselves to be princes and princesses in a limitless universe. The question, now, is, if we have such a royal heritage, what happened that caused us to lose our ability to rule ourselves?

Well, the reasons for giving up our power of free will and give domination of ourselves to others can be numerous. Mental weakness and general laziness come to mind as two reasons. But in spite of this quite common fault, society has produced many great minds and achievers that have truly reflected God’s desire for the lofty aspirations for His offspring. Terry Fox, Viola Desmond and Gord Downie are three Canadian heroes that immediately come to mind, and if we turn our search for heroes internationally, the list becomes almost endless. So, we see, it’s not God’s fault that we are weak: He created us as royal citizens of the universe, remember? His plan for us as a loving Father is to see us aspire to—and even surpass—His own lofty heights of creative achievement! So, what went wrong?

Going back to our heroes, the idea of thinking “I’m only one person,” so “what can I do?” isn’t even a consideration in their mind which is obvious by their action and achievements! These heroes know they’ve been created free and are in bondage to no one! So, if they did great things, why can’t the rest of us do likewise?

Free-spirited people are still in the minority. Why do we, the majority, still feel powerless and consider ourselves a failure—or at best, not as good as our successful associates? The reasons are legion: probably as many reasons as there are individuals who feel that they are inferior. Mac Davidson, former therapist, consultant and entrepreneur, may have at least one answer when he stated in Quora: “The fear of making mistakes.” In other words, we hesitate because we are afraid … afraid of what? We’re afraid of making a fool of ourselves in front of others, afraid of people looking down on us if we make a mistake, feeling inferior to associates … where do we pick up such negative ideas? We’re certainly not born with the idea of failure or fear. Watch a child at play and the last thing a child is, is afraid to act out his emotion or desire.

Who knows where its origin? Maybe it began in our primitive days when we were cave dwellers and had to fear the ever-present hungry carnivore who stalked us in order to survive. Since then, we’ve customized our fear to fit our present-day environment, but still kept one basic survival skill: observing and adopting ideas from others in our group.

 The nice thing is, once we become aware of our fears, we can—if we wish to—change. But change is not easy. We’re creatures of habit. The road out of failure can be filled with frustration and failure itself, so here are a few “helps” to help you on your way:

 One very good start is to join a yoga meditation club. You’ll get lots of support from other members there, and positive support is something you’ll need to help cancel out the life-long negative thoughts engrained in us.

Next, copy down some positive quotes and pin them on your bathroom mirror where you’ll see and reflect on them every time you visit the bathroom. Here are a few for starters:

“Your best teacher is your last mistake.”

“The only man who never made a mistake is the man who never did anything.”

“Mistakes help build your knowledge base.”

“Mistakes are proof that you’re trying.”

“The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.”

Meditating on such quotes can strengthen our resolve to overcome our weaknesses by learning that mistakes can actually be your friend and teacher.

One final quote to help you. You may have heard this one before—most successful people have. Just make sure to apply it with determination: Aim for the stars! You may only reach the moon on your first try, but that’s better than where you were. And, once you reach the moon, it will be that much easier to reach the stars. Just don’t give up!

Promote yourself from “Can’t Do,” to “Can Do,” and from that direction, look up … way up!  You’re now on your road to boldly go where, before, as a lesser god you feared to tread!

Can Do

“You may not be the CEO of a large company, but you are the CEO of your life.” — Jon Taffer

It’s not just a recent thought with me, but ever since I was adult enough to really take note that society consisted of rich and poor people and, of course, a wide range of what one would call rich or poor in between.

Why were some guys forever unemployed while others rarely had the need to visit an employment office? And, of course, the in-between that I mentioned above. Some become great successes at their jobs, while others barely managed to keep their bills paid.

All of us can point to someone in our life and say, “Yes, I know him. We’re friends. He’s rich,” you emphasis. You secretly envy him and wish that you were as successful as he is.

So, why aren’t you as successful?

That question immediately brings up reasons for failure or success. Failure reasons might include, “I never had the opportunity to be a success like my brother had!”

“He was the oldest in the family, and my parents doted more on him than on me!”

“It’s easier for men to get ahead in the business world than for a woman!”

“I’m not as brainy as he is!”

… ad nauseum.

You’ll notice that the blame for failure is, in all cases, shifted away from oneself. It’s not your fault that you’re a failure!

O.k., so those were the reasons (excuses?) for failure. My next question obviously follows, “if your brother is more successful than you, why? What circumstances/reasons/excuses does your brother blame … scratch that – what circumstances does your brother contribute to his success?

Notice the difference here? The successful person analysis his situation and accepts his circumstances and works with what he’s got, while the person who considers himself a failure blames his failure on a bad roll of dice he got out of life. Again, it’s not his fault he’s a failure!

I’m sure that you’re familiar with the saying, “If life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.”

You say, you don’t know how to make lemonade, learn how! And you’ll be almost guaranteed to be as successful as your brother.