If You Know You Are Right …

If you know you’re right, it really doesn’t matter what others think? Note, I’ve emphasized the word, ‘know.’ I’ll give you a simple example of the difference between knowing something to be right and believing something to be right.

You came home from the office a short while ago, a bit tired, but you remembered your routine before you can call it a. day: taking out the garbage. You fulfill that task in your usual, efficient way, then return to the comfort of your living, anticipating a quiet, restful evening. As you settle into your easy chair, your wife calls out to you from the kitchen, “honey, don’t forget, it’s your job to take out the garbage!”

You explode. “I’ve already taken out the damn garbage! Now leave me alone!”

What made you lose your composure?

It relates back to your insecurity.

According to an article in Psychology Today, “The 3 Most Common Causes of Insecurity and How to Beat Them,” insecurity appears to be at the heart of our auto-instinct to flare up and defend yourself, often at the slightest provocation.

            The first, and possibly the main cause of insecurity is a feeling of failure or rejection. Did you loose last night at the poker game, and now you’ll be a bit short on your monthly grocery allowance, and you’re afraid your wife will find out?

            You self-punish: how stupid of me gamble away our grocery money! Why don’t I have more self-control? I’m just a failure! … and so on.

            A second reason for an angry flareup can be social rejection. Did your boss give that envied contract to another employee and that has put you into a rejective social slump?

            That damn Bill, he’s always suck-holing up to the boss! My idea was far better than Bills! Even Dolly, our secretary, said that I was more qualified!

            The third cause of insecurity mentioned in the article is, are you a perfectionist? In that burst of anger, you feel that your partner should know you take out the garbage at exactly eight o’clock right after you get home from work! Why is she questioning your efficiency?

            Our security/insecurity is something few of us try to analyse. Yet, if we took the time to do so, we could save ourselves a lot of grief. In this present era of our evolution, everything is in rapid change. Look at the violence and distrust that’s present everywhere, and to think that a lot—no! I’d say most of that is generated through people’s lack of faith in themselves, and lack of, or unwillingness to understand of what is actually happening in the world.

            But that doesn’t mean you have no choice but be trapped in this nightmarish world and have to accept whatever is thrown at you.

            You’ve heard the expression, “solid as a rock,” or the familiar hymn, “Rock of Ages.” A rock is a symbol of stability: solidness; surety. Does it care about what the environment thinks about it?

            Another example is the weather and the weatherman. Does the weather really care what the weatherman thinks about its—the weather’s everchanging nature?

            If we wish to survive in all this insanity, we have to become ‘as solid as a rock,’ yet as versatile to change as the weather.

            A rock is! That’s a fact. The weather is! And that’s a fact. You are! That’s another fact! Practice mindfulness. Be present in all that you do. Do your due-diligent research and be informed, not opinionated.

            Like the Universal Consciousness itself—God, if you will, be as solid as a rock, and as flexible to change as the weather: secure in your knowing, and it won’t matter what anyone else thinks or believes of you!

A Sunday Chat with Myself—I’m suffering! I feel violated! Whose fault is it?

“You never change things by fighting the existing reality.
To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.” —Buckminster Fuller

Protests! Hardly a day goes by without some form of public protest taking a front-and-center headlines the evening news.

Like most people, I have had a lot of things happening in my life that I can get quite upset about, and I have written letters, both in protest and support, to many community and political leaders, but I’ve never found myself in a position where I felt that joining a demonstration was the best solution to an issue. History has shown  exceptions, of course, like Mahatma Gandhi’s peaceful protests that finally freed his country from British rule, and many of the very large American demonstrations that had a great influence in the 1950s and 1960s in helping to end the Vietnamese and Korean wars, but these were big demonstrations that gave politicians little choice but to take notice! I can’t see where very many of the smaller demonstrations and protesters have left much of a permanent mark on social issues.

Another problem  I have with most of the demonstrations that I’ve watched on news channels is that they seem to attract characters with a very destructive mindset. They smash storefront windows, upset cars, set tires on fire, and it is usually this type of destructive protest that our news media concentrate on, often leaving us in the dark as to what the demonstration was about in the first place. The drama is the news: not the cause of the event.

Does the public ever ask, who has  these small, destructive demonstrators impressed or influenced? Certainly not the shop owners who find their store windows broken and stores looted by the hooligans who use these demonstrations as an avenue to vent their destructive behavior!

“Say what you want but NEVER say it with violence!” —Gerard Way

I once listened to a commentary by a reporter who had been covering some demonstration—I forget which one, now—another argument against the effectiveness of these small, destructive demonstrations: how long are they remembered? Anyway, the reporter had interviewed several of the demonstrators, and with few exceptions, most didn’t even know why they were demonstrating; it was a cool thing to do. Besides, there friends were also here somewhere in the crowd, and they wanted to be with their friends.

On the other hand, there are many protests that have brought about great and lasting change in society, the present—and very effective—MeTo Movement that have brought to justice several high profile sexual molesters and the Parkland Student gun control movement that has actually managed to move the American government closer to placing some regulation  on automatic, assault weapons.

So, the question I ask is, what causes some demonstrations to have an effect on the habits of society, and others thankfully forgotten within days of their occurrence? The answer appears to be that, something eternally deep within our evolutionary psych, woke up and said, it’s time for change,—like I already mentioned, the MeToo movement and the Parkland student gun-control movement.

The time has come, in our evolutionary cycle, for women to realize that they were equal to men in all respects, not men’s servants; that our schools are a place of education and freedom: to elevate and magnify the status of man, not be a place of fear and violence to degrade and humiliate us.

Also, the day of violent demonstrations should now be part of our evolutionary past and, hopefully, replaced with a higher standard of communicating our likes, dislikes and differences between ourselves. Change is good! Change is what evolution is all about.

But, change should respect the concerns of all members of society, not just an elite few!  Let’s bring change about, as Martin Luther King Jr. suggests: “If you want to change the world, pick up your pen and write.” Write to your Prime Minister, your President, your Member of Parliament, your Congressman. Form lobby groups; sign petitions. The old  cliché still holds true, it’s the squeaky wheel that gets the grease,  but let’s keep that “squeak” a non-violent squeak, please!

“One man cannot change the world, but one man can communicate the message that can change the world.” —anon

If it hurts, learn from the experience!

Two days ago a scammer called me—I think he said he was from Microsoft, and said that he needed to get into my computer and clean out some corrupt files. It only took a minute’s conversation with him for me to realize that he was new at the game of scamming. In the scamming game, this guy was a “junior”–just learning the trade, the one who casts the bait by making a zillion random phone calls,  and as soon as he gets someone who will talk to him—a “sucker,” he would hand the phone over to the professional scammer to do the damage. I know the routine because I’ve had these guys call before, and I’ve come to understand their techniques. Now, most of the time I just hang up, or don’t even answer the phone,  but this time, decided to talk to him. Here’s roughly the conversation that we had:

Me: “You’re a scammer. Why would I let you into my computer?”

Scammer: “No, sir, you don’t understand. I’m from Microsoft and I need to get into your computer to clean out some bad files that are corrupting your hard drive and—”

Me, bluntly: “You’re a scammer. a parasite on society. Why don’t you get yourself a decent job and contribute to society, rather than scamming people out of their money?”

Scammer: “But, sir, I need to—”

Me, getting impatient: “You’re a scammer,” I repeated. “Get yourself a decent job!”

Scammer: “And how am I going to get a job, sir? Are you going to give me one?” (those were his exact words, and this is why I recognized him as a greenhorn at the scamming business). Professional scammers don’t ask dumb questions like that, so I admit, for the moment, his questions came as an unanticipated surprise.

Me, at this point, I completely lost my cool: “Now, why in hell am I responsible for  getting you a job?” Get your ass down to the employment office and see what’s available, like the rest of us have to do! Go back to school, if you have to! Get a trade . . .”

My  haranguing continued like that for a few more minutes. He listened in silence, then, finally, I hung up on him.

A bit later, after I calmed down to  a more human level of impiousness, I sort of felt sorry for the fellow. Life certainly had not been kind to him in order for him to have to resort to   scamming for a living, so I sent him a silent prayer, asking God to let someone come into his life and give him some proper guidance concerning the responsibilities of being human. Also, I needed him to forgive me for being so rude.

He obviously had some education—at least enough to know basic computer lingo, so,  at least to a point, he must have chosen, or easily been lead into the scammer’s way of life. Maybe, let’s assume he was raised in a good family that taught him right from wrong,  but he lacked moral principles.  Was his brain twisted enough to make him a sociopath, a person with an antisocial personality disorder who didn’t care whether he hurt another being? I’m not sure that he was a sociopath because, you will remember his question to me: “And how am I going to get a job, sir? Are you going to give me one?” A hard core sociopath—scammer, in this case, isn’t interested in your opinion nor how he can ‘improve’ himself.

On the other hand, if we—society are at least partially to blame for our “misfits,” where are we failing them? I’m a great fan of TVs Dr. Phil show. What I’ve observed so far by watching him is that, in many of his cases where people come to him for help, they’ve already been through at least one other professional source that failed them. Is there a factor in our attempted care to help the less fortunate that we’re leaving out of the equation? I think there is, and I’d like to turn our attention to our King James version of the Bible, Genesis 3:22, for a suggested answer: “And the Lord God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil.” In other words,  Man can progress to eventual godhood, but, if he wants to continue his upward evolution, he had  best learn to benefit from the opposites in Creation!


The black nefarious agent and the white angel are both equally my teachers.


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Anger

In most cases, the best way to address an angry, hateful message is with No Response. Hate needs hate to fuel itself and keep itself alive. Like a snake eating its own tail it soon becomes nothing.

No Response” is different from “No Action.” What would constitute “action” in each case is as varied as there are hate-situations. Attempting to understand what caused the person’s outburst in the first place is one possible, more mature solution.